I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
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