Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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