Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
