we have officially lost it.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
