She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
