I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
