PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize
