Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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