im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
