I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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