Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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