I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
