i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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