Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
