apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
i just sent this text using only my big toe
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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