Well apparently he's into motor boating.
mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
