I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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