it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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