Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
We left the knife in your bed.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
It all started with a game of naked twister.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
