She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Randomize
