He uses pillows to masturbate.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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