I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
