lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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