You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
