we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
