How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
