God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Randomize
