Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
