I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
someone owes me an orgasm
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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