he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Randomize
