margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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