do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
