We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
and she was petting her beer can
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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