oh god the rape fog is back!
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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