I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize