it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Randomize
