really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
The air taste purple.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
