Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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