I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
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