She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Randomize
