Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize
