i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
