If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Randomize