Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Randomize
