what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
