Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
