Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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