Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
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