Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
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