There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
