So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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