Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Randomize
