i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Is her dick bigger than yours?
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
