Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
should my penis look like a turkey
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
