i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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