Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
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