I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
