hotel room ftw
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
