I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Randomize
