In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
