Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
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