shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
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